prelude to a kiss
i was discussing the lost art of making out with a good friend last night. we were both talking about things not really crackin' in the love dept. and how we'd simply like to make out, the way you could in middle school without it going any further, no complications.
as an adult, it's almost like, now that you know what sex is, sex becomes the benchmark and typically something that ends up happening after you make out. that's cool, no harm, no foul. it just seems that there's no art to making out, the simplicity of it isn't celebrated in the culture at large which reinforces this "hit it and quit it" mentality. in other words, making out would be a home cooked meal where a large part of society would just rather just hit the drive-thru. and i get that, just feels like there's no balance anymore.
a guy i met recently told me he wasn't a good kisser. i didn't believe him and if circumstances were different, i would've tested his theory. all i could think is, really?...how can you not be a good kisser? and then i thought, oh noooooo...what if he's like brad, the bad kisser?!
i wanted to ask him, didn't you practice for hours on the back of your hand? watch every film you could get your hands on that had a good kissing scene to see how it's done? no pillow test? no mirror test? no laying on the floor for hours discussing at length what kissing is with peers who didn't know shit either but they heard "such and such" kissed "what's his face" behind the rotunda after p.e.? do men prepare for that fateful day when you take your training to level b and actually get someone to kiss you or is this a girl thing?
i fully remember my first kiss. we were sitting on the porch, he was such a sweetheart: gentle, soft spoken, thoughtful and kind. he was a friend of a friend and i always thought he was the homie. whenever we saw one another, we kicked it...hard. video games, slurpees, cartoons, ninja movies, music debates, roller skating, setting off firecrackers to scare the neighbors dog (no lectures, please. this dog was an asshole)...so when he looked at me a bit too long one particular sunny afternoon, i didn't get it. in fact, all i could think was, "is there a new pimple growing out of my face?!"
anyway, he leaned in, i leaned back. he laughed. he leaned in again, i hesitated and then suddenly, i became a kissing ninja. i remembered all my training, recalled sonnets, love songs, anything and everything that i'd heard or read about, i pulled from my arsenal to make that kiss remarkable. and it was. simple, sweet and perfect.
we kissed for a while, nothing went beyond that, no hands went anywhere unexpected and even though my heart was racing and at times i felt light-headed (that sounds romantic but truly, i wasn't breathing properly), it all stayed at stage 1, level b.
i miss that.