is it me?

this screenshot perplexes me (click to enlarge). while i understand that younger generations don't give two shits about their personal information--hell, some older generations don't--i find it interesting that someone would post their blackberry pin on a facebook page. a facebook page that has 862,380 "fans" or "likes" or whatever the fuck they call it now. really, people?

so i feel compelled to ask, is it me?

i'll be the first to admit that i'm very private and frown upon certain aspects of modern culture. and yet, i have a blog and a small group of facebook "friends." in fact, they're generally people i actually know or are "friends of friends" that i've either truly connected with or said "friends" have trapped me in a fucking corner and i can't get out of accepting their friend request without them having a passive-aggressive conversation with me about it the next time i see them.

like, i can't pull a larry david and say, "well actually no, i don't fucking know you, i don't want to see your posts or all of your narcissistic rants. that's what YOUR friend is for that knows me." or even, "i don't want to know you outside of the interactions i have with you at our mutual friend's annual birthday gathering." doesn't quite work, does it? no, because that falls under "being mean"or say "crabby" or whatever little label someone will slap across your forehead for actually telling them the truth.

some people like to collect friends, and that's certainly their prerogative but i think this whole "friend" thing is utter bullshit. let's dissect the definition of friend, shall we?

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. (initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.

–verb (used with object)
6. Rare. to befriend.
7. make friends with, to enter into friendly relations with; become a friend to. (i guess this is the facebook definition?)

is "friend" the new acquaintance? maybe someone can help me understand? i guess i have a more, rigid definition of friend so i'm often annoyed by people who say they're friends when in reality, they're really fucking acquaintances and yet it's frowned upon to let people know exactly where they stand with you. hm.

why don't i take a stab at defining friend...

1. a person you can call in the middle of the night when you can't sleep as you neurotically mull over how to handle the fact that you found a gray hair in your nether regions and death is now knocking at your front door.
2. a person who knows that you don't particularly care for chocolate and yet, never once questions you--with bugged out eyes--by uttering, "are you a woman?"
3. a person who knows what it's like to see you cry...not just any old cry, the UGLY cry. exhibit a:

4. a person who pushes you to be better than you think you're capable of being because they see who you have yet to become.
5. a person who knows, why yes, your shit DOES stink and they still love you.
6. a person who knows you have no food in the fridge and offers to have you join them for dinner, despite the fact that they have four children and a husband.
7. a person who let's you come over and wash clothes and saves quarters for you because they know shit is real.
8. a person that will call you out of the blue, asks how you are and actually wait for the answer.
9. a person who let's you live with their entire family, share their bedroom and treats you like blood when you have no home.
10. a person who knows that "friends are the family you choose."
i dunno', maybe it is me? (sarcasm).

i would like to thank my friends for being the kind of people that restore my faith in humanity on a daily basis.


  1. You are hilarious and very smart! Your friends are lucky to have you in their lives! Well done! Hopefully some of them youngins' will have been schooled by you!

  2. Amazing how some specific people are actually your definition of friend. They are amazing people I know and I'm lucky to call them and you my friend.

    You're a great writer.

  3. I can't take Dawson's ugly cry! It is not cute!

  4. I'm SO glad you knew it was him. I was gonna' mention it but then thought, that face is funny on its own!